April 27 2010

Sometimes, I have days like today.

Where I pretend to be reflective.

This is what I reflect on.

I really appreciate polite people. There is this boy in our Human Development class, whose name I do not know. He has never spoken to me, nor do we have common friends. He is just in my class. I always see him working hard. In my mind, this is his life. He grew up in, or near Cache valley. He is from a humble LDS home, with a lot of siblings and very kind parents. He was taught values, and hard work. He works for the University, and although he hates it, he knows he needs the money. He applies himself diligently in class, not just FCHD, and hopes that it pays off. I saw this boy today as I was walking across campus. He smiled, waved, and told me that he hoped I was having a good day. Again, I do not know this individual. I have made up this life story, and don't know if it's truth. He had the kindness and sincerity to say hi to the weird girl in one of his classes, and I'm sure he is unaware of the impact he made on this girl's life.

Eli. He is the man that stands by the fountain with his white-board of hypocrisy. Okay, it may not be hypocrisy, but I generally don't like the things scribbled upon it. I cannot help but wonder about this man when I see him. I like to think that he secretly knows the Church is true. I do not understand how someone who studies and knows so much about what we believe, could not in turn, believe it as well. Why waste all that time? And wouldn't it just make people wonder about the Church even more? I'm sure that if someone were obsessively telling me everything about this one particular religion, that I would want to find out more myself. In a bizarre round-about way, is he not just helping us?

There are days when I miss how life was. I wish that friendships wouldn't have crumbled, and people would have been true to themselves. I wish that apologies were not for the birds, and that common ground could be found. These are wishes for the clouds, and dreams for the future. I can only hope that someday, somewhere, I gain an understanding. For now, however, I'll keep my happiness and the people that infuse me with it.

I wrote Kaleb Anderson a letter today. I am afraid of its delivery.

I went tanning, and burned myself.

I didn't pass a test about Spreadsheets, and have to do it again. I'm computer stupid.

I am touched by what a neighbor told me.

I found a problem.

I wrote a poem.

These are the things that fill up the Tuesdays.